By Samantha Starr

Undergoing transformations often lead to shifts in our perspectives, but these transitions can be accompanied by uncertainty about our true identity versus how we are perceived by others. Such tribulations challenge our comfort zone and question our beliefs. While these transitions and experiences vary from person to person, I have conducted personal research and gathered insights to offer guidance through this process. For those currently grappling with uncertainty, it is important to acknowledge that these feelings are part of the journey. Though they may be unpleasant, I assure you that the potential for personal growth is well worth it. Allow me to explain why.

The Foundation of Core Values:

From a young age, each of us possesses a set of core values that shape our unique personalities and identities. By actively observing the children in our lives, we can discern the beliefs, stories, activities, and interests that comprise their individual identities. These core values remain deeply ingrained within us throughout our lifetimes.

Acquiring Additional Values

As we mature, we also acquire additional values influenced by our environments. These values are shaped by the experiences and events we encounter, including the positive and negative moments and the intergenerational traumas imprinted in our DNA. These environmental and experiential factors lead to transitions in our perspectives and beliefs. However, not all the values we hold onto serve our future selves or contribute to the better versions of who we can become.

Navigating Transitional Periods

During these transitional periods, it is essential to recognize that vices, habits, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors may emerge or solidify. It is natural to find these moments intimidating, scary, and uncertain. If we lack understanding or awareness of what we are feeling during these times, we may resort to numbing the liminal space as a coping mechanism. Unfortunately, the existing stigmas surrounding these topics often hinder additional support and resources. Part Four of this blog looks further into vices and numbing to cope.

Building Mental Resilience

Did you know that our brains function like muscles? Just as muscles grow stronger through exercise, our brains also strengthen through practice. Interestingly, it takes approximately 60-90 seconds of sitting with uncomfortable emotions, feelings, or experiences for our brains to become more equipped to handle future challenges. 

The evolution of our values is an ongoing process that accompanies the transformations we undergo throughout our lives. By recognizing our core values, acknowledging the additional values we acquire, and navigating the transitional periods with resilience, we can embrace personal growth and become the best versions of ourselves. Remember, although the journey may be filled with uncertainty and discomfort, the potential for transformation and self-discovery makes it all worthwhile.